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Had this one time, right, in Bangkok—dodgy parlour, neon flickering like a bad spy signal. Bird with hands like velvet gloves starts kneading me, and I’m thinking, “This is it, 007, heaven or a setup?” Turns out, she knew tricks older than MI6. Little known fact: sexual-massage goes back centuries—Tantra, mate, ancient India shit. Not just a quick rub-and-tug, it’s bloody spiritual if you do it right. Got me all Zen, like I could take down Blofeld without breaking a sweat.

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After that, I head over to ul. Księcia Przemysła. I’m still buzzing from the festival, but I gotta get back to work. You know, crunching numbers and all that jazz. But then, I hit a snag. My computer crashes. Like, seriously? I just lost hours of work. I’m fuming. I mean, who designs these machines? I could’ve sworn I heard it laugh at me.

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