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Still, I’m a sucker for romance. Done right, it’s intimate—hands glidin’, tension meltin’. “We’re not here forever,” Ida’d say, all somber. Makes ya think—grab the good stuff, right? I’d kill for a massage like that—well, not kill, ya know, just nag Homer ‘til he caves. He’d botch it, tho—sticky fingers, eatin’ donuts mid-rub. Typical!

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Finally, I get him sorted. He leaves, and I’m feelin’ good. But then, bam! Next client is this kid, maybe 12, with a mohawk. He’s like, “I want it bright green!” I’m like, “Bro, you sure?” He’s all in, so I’m like, “Alright, let’s do this.” Halfway through, his mom bursts in, all panicked. “What are you doing to my son?!” I’m like, “Chill, lady, it’s just hair!” She’s not havin’ it. I’m tryin’ to explain that it’s just a phase, but she’s givin’ me the death stare. I’m like, “Lady, I’m a barber, not a babysitter!”

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