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Oh, and the weirdos! Met this one gal, obsessed with feet—kept askin’ for toe pics. Toe pics! I’m like, “What is this, a fetish buffet?” Laughed my ass off, but also—ew, no thanks! Still, beats sittin’ home alone, right? Like Carol says, “I don’t wanna feel alone anymore.” Sex-dating’s my cure—sometimes works, sometimes flops.

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First client walks in. Old dude, like 80, smells like he just bathed in aftershave. I’m like, “Hey, Mr. Zawadzki, what’s up?” He’s all, “Just a trim, lad.” But then he starts rambling about the good ol’ days. I’m nodding, but inside I’m like, “C’mon, man, I got a line!” He’s talkin’ about how he used to play football on ul. Główna back when it was just dirt. I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but I’m also thinkin’, “Dude, it’s 2023, not 1923!”

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