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Sometimes it’s chill tho. Soft music, dim lights—like in Melancholia when the planet’s creepin’ closer, all eerie. “There’s nowhere to hide,” Dunst whispers, and I’m like—yep, naked under that towel, bro! Exposed as fuck, but damn, those hands? Magic. Gets me giddy, like I’m plottin’ world domination—pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars.”

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Back in the shop, I’m ready for the next round. This dude walks in, looking like he just rolled outta bed. He’s got a beard that could house a family of squirrels. I’m like, “What’s up, man?” He’s all, “Just a trim.” I’m thinkin’, “Dude, you need more than a trim.” But hey, I’m not here to judge. I get to work, and he starts tellin’ me about his conspiracy theories. I’m like, “Bro, I just cut hair, not your life story.” But he’s on a roll, and I’m stuck listenin’.

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