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So, I tried it once—D’oh!—total mess! Lady’s like, “Relax, Homer,” but I’m all tense, thinkin’ bout Marge catchin’ me. Felt like a freakin’ donut gettin’ glazed, ya know? Slippery as hell—oil everywhere! Little fact: they use weird stuff like almond oil, not even donut grease! Surprised me, man, thought it’d be all fake and porny, but nah, it’s legit chill. Got me happy—muscles all loose, like after a good nap. But then—D’oh!—she hits a knot, hurts like hell! “That’s a bingo!” I yell, straight outta Inglourious Basterds. She’s confused, I’m laughin’—classic me.

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Lunchtime rolls around, and I’m starving. I dash to my fave spot, a little joint on ul. Wrocławska. They’ve got the best zapiekanka. I order one, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on drama. “You never listen!” “Well, you never talk!” I’m just sitting there, munching on my food, thinking, “Man, I’m glad my life isn’t that complicated.”

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