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About Lublin

Erotic-massage ain’t just rubbin’ backs, nah—it’s old as sin. Ancient Greeks? Oh, they were *all* over it—called it “bodywork” or some fancy shite. Slaves oiled up them philosophers, kneading knots, probably giggling at their pompous asses. Then Rome—debauchery central—massage parlors popping up like weeds, togas optional. Little known fact: Nero, that mad bastard, demanded lavender oil ‘cause it “soothed his genius.” Prick. Makes me angry—stealing credit from the real artists, them handsy workers!

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Next, I decide to grab some lunch at that little spot on ul. Krakowska. You know, the one with the killer pierogi? I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this convo. Some guy is talking about how he’s gonna run for mayor. I’m like, “Dude, you can’t even run to the corner store!” But hey, Glogow-Malopolski needs some excitement, right?

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