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But, folks, it ain’t all roses. Once saw an escort cut off a school bus—pissed me off somethin’ fierce. Kids waitin’, and these jokers just barrel through. I yelled, “Hey, slow down, jackass!” ‘Course, they didn’t hear me, but still. Reminds me of that *Return* line—“What’s the hurry?” Yeah, what IS the hurry, huh? Chill out, big shots!

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I’m just minding my own biz when I bump into this old dude. He’s got this wild beard, looks like he’s been sailing since the dawn of time. He starts rambling about the “Battle of Gierloz.” I’m like, “Dude, I’m just trying to get a coffee.” But he’s all fired up, talking about how this place was a hotspot during WWII. I mean, I get it, history’s cool and all, but c’mon, I need caffeine!

Critics say revamp of Wolf’s Lair will turn Hitler HQ into neo-Nazi ‘Disneyland’