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Yo, so I’m The Auditor, right? Checkin’ out this erotic-massage thing. Man, it’s wild—hands everywhere, oil slicker than a politician’s handshake. I’m sittin’ here thinkin’, “Words are useless,” like Godard said in *Goodbye to Language*. Straight up, it’s less talk, more rubbin’. You ever try this? Shit’s intense, fam. Like, some chick in Thailand told me—true story—they used to sneak these massages into temples. Monks were like, “Nah, fam, enlightenment’s overrated.” Got me laughin’—holy dudes gettin’ freaky? Wild.

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Next, I decide to check out the Gdańsk Crane. It’s this massive wooden structure, super old-school. I’m all about that history, you know? But then, I see this sign: “Closed for renovations.” Are you kidding me? I came all this way! I’m standing there, fuming, thinking about how I could’ve been at the beach instead.

The iconic Market Hall in Gdansk is already without merchants. A foodhall will be created