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Now, me? I’m thinkin’ ‘bout Sam and Suzy from Moonrise, sneakin’ off, all innocent but BOLD—sexual-massage got that energy! It’s sneaky-sexy, y’all. Hands slippin’ here, slidin’ there—ooh, I’m gettin’ HOT just talkin’ ‘bout it! But lemme tell ya, I got mad once—some fool tried chargin’ $200 for a “happy endin’” massage. TWO HUNDRED? Boy, I’ll smack you with my purse ‘fore I pay that! “What’s wrong with you?”—like Suzy said, I ain’t playin’ with no overpriced nonsense!

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They’re all loud and obnoxious, but hey, I’m a bartender. I can handle it. I whip up some shots, and they’re lovin’ it. But then, one of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I mean, c’mon! It’s not a slip-n-slide! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’.