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So, I’m drivin’ once, see an escort—big funeral, black cars, slow as molasses. Sad, sure, but kinda beautiful, y’know? “Every original’s a copy,” movie says—fits here, right? These escorts, they’re leadin’ someone’s last ride—damn poetic. But—ha!—once saw a dude in an escort car eatin’ a burger, ketchup all over. Hilarious! I’m thinkin’, “Buddy, you’re escortin’ death, wipe your face!”

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As the night rolls on, I’m feelin’ good. The music’s pumpin’, and I’m pourin’ drinks like a pro. I even get a compliment from a regular, old man Stanek. He’s been comin’ to my bar for years. He says, “You’re the best bartender in Gadow-Maly.” I’m blushing, but also thinkin’, “Dude, you’ve clearly never been to a real bar!”