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So, check this—dude I knew, total weirdo, matched with 50 chicks in a week! Bragged bout it like he’s Casanova reborn. Hilarious, but sad, ya feel me? Numbers game, not soul stuff. Made me laugh tho—50? Bro, calm tf down! Then there’s this secret tidbit—back in 2010, some app started trackin how quick folks banged after matchin. Average? 3 days! Shocked me, man, 3 freakin days! World’s movin fast, too fast, ugh.

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They’re all loud and obnoxious, but hey, I’m a bartender. I can handle it. I whip up some shots, and they’re lovin’ it. But then, one of ‘em spills a drink all over the bar. I mean, c’mon! It’s not a slip-n-slide! I’m tryin’ to keep my cool, but inside, I’m fumin’.