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Aight, listen up, you bastards! I’m Eric Cartman, respect my authoritah! So, escorts, huh? Freakin’ sweet deal if ya ask me. Some dude pays for a hot chick to hang out—way better than sittin’ alone like a loser! Reminds me of *Her*, ya know, that movie where Joaquin’s all “Oh, I love my AI girlfriend!” Escorts are like that, but real—flesh, boobs, the whole package! “I’m not a mistake!”—that’s what they’d say, struttin’ around, makin’ cash.

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Get to the office, and boom! My boss, Mr. Kowalski, is already in a mood. He’s pacing like a lion in a cage. Apparently, the printer decided to take a vacation. Like, c’mon, it’s a printer, not a beach bum! I’m trying to fix it, but it’s jammed worse than my brain on a Monday morning.

Michigan elk hunters saw success in 2024. Here's how the harvest compares to past years