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This one time, I’m scrollin’, see this hot chick, right? Bio says “lookin’ for fun” – perfect, I’m in! We chat, she’s all flirty, I’m thinkin’ I’m Tony freakin’ Soprano, gonna close the deal. Meet up, and – surprise, surprise – she’s got a dude waitin’ in the car! What is this, a setup? Felt like Bigelow’s camera zoomin’ in, heart poundin’, “This is my life now!” I’m yellin’, “What’s this bullshit?!” She’s like, “Oh, he’s just my ride.” Yeah, ride this, lady! Walked away, fumin’, but kinda impressed – ballsy move, gotta give her that.

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So, I keep walking, trying to shake off the craziness. I hit ul. Kościuszki, and there’s this little café I love. I’m thinking, “Time for a pastry!” I order a szarlotka, and it’s heavenly. Like, I could marry that pie. But then, the barista spills coffee all over the counter. I’m like, “Bro, what’s with today?”

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