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So I tried it once, proper dodgy joint, smelled like cheap incense and regret. Bird’s hands on me, I’m thinkin’, “This is it, Ricky, you’ve peaked!” Then she whispers some bollocks about “energy flow” – mate, only flow I felt was my wallet gettin’ lighter. “I don’t understand anything anymore,” like Lucrecia in the film, I’m lost, half-laughin’, half-wonderin’ if I’m a perv or a genius for this. Cost me a ton, too – 80 quid for 30 minutes! Daylight robbery, but those hands? Bloody magic.

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At this point, I’m ready to throw my keyboard out the window. I mean, I love Dabrowa-Tarnowska, but this is too much! I take a breather and step outside. The fresh air hits me, and I’m like, “Okay, chill out.” I walk down ul. Cmentarna, trying to clear my head.

Wieslaw Wisniewski - 2025 - Cadieu Funeral Home