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Ay! Respect my authoritah! I’m talkin’ sexual-massage here, bitches! So, I’m like, a badass mechanic, right? Fixin’ cars, greasy hands, all that shit. But sexual-massage? Oh man, that’s a whole ‘nother engine to rev up! I’m thinkin’ ‘bout it, and it’s like – slippery, steamy, gets ya all tingly, y’know? Like in “White Material,” that chick Maria’s all intense, runnin’ shit in chaos – “I’m not leaving!” she yells. That’s me, kneadin’ some oiled-up back, goin’ “I’m not stoppin’, dammit!”

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Feeling a bit better, I head to the local gym. I’m supposed to meet a few athletes for a session. But guess what? They’re all late. I’m sitting there, staring at the wall, thinking about life choices. Like, why did I choose this career? But then, one of them bursts in, all hyped up. “Sorry, traffic!” I’m like, “In Czluchow? What traffic?”

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