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Erotic-massage ain’t just a quick rubdown, nah. It’s ancient—think Egypt, 2500 BC, priests usin’ it for healin’ AND pleasure. Bet they didn’t tell ya that in history class! Hands glidin’, slow as fuck, tension meltin’—makes me happy as hell. But lemme tell ya, some shady parlors piss me off—grubby dudes rushin’ it, no soul, no art. You shall not pass into that crap! Go for the real deal, skilled hands, proper oils—lavender or ylang-ylang, shit that smells like lust and peace.

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Back at work, things go downhill fast. My team’s arguing over some dumb mistake. I’m trying to mediate, but it’s like herding cats. “Guys, chill! We’re all on the same team!” But they’re just yelling over each other. I’m about to lose it.

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