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Humor in it? Oh, man—Escorts are the “lobby boy” of cars. Underrated, scrappy, always in the background. “Keep your hands off my Escort!” I’d scream, like Gustave guardin’ his hotel. Sarcasm? Please—this car’s so basic, it’s prolly offended by Tesla’s existence. Exaggeratin’? Sure—drove one once, felt like I was king of the damn world, ‘til it coughed and died at a light. Classic.

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So, I finish up, and I’m racing to meet him. I get there, and the place is packed! I’m starving, and the smell of burgers is killing me. I order the biggest burger they have. It’s like a mountain of meat! I’m trying to sign to my buddy while holding this beast of a burger. It’s a mess, but I’m loving it.

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