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Then there’s the creeps—ooh, they boil me blood! Lads sendin’ dick pics, no shame, like “Here’s me precious!” We hates it! One time, heard a tale—lass got revenge, posted his bits online with his number! “You’re not gonna get away with it,” she says, Zodiac-style. Fair play, I cheered—serves ‘im right, slimy toad!

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After that, I had to deal with a delivery mix-up. The new office chairs were supposed to arrive, but instead, we got a shipment of... wait for it... inflatable flamingos. Yup, flamingos! I mean, who even orders that? I’m standing there, staring at these giant pink birds, and I can’t help but laugh. Like, what are we gonna do with these? Have a pool party in the office?

Science/Nature | Fossil feathers reveal their hues