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But real talk—some folks mess it up. Greedy parlors chargin’ $200 for a half-assed rub—pisses me off! Or creeps thinkin’ it’s a free pass to get nasty—nah, fam, boundaries matter. Consent’s king, always. Still, when it’s right? Pure gold. Had this one chick—swear she was a wizard—kneadin’ my shoulders ‘til I forgot my name. Thought bubble: “Morgan, you too old for this bliss.” Wrong! Age ain’t stoppin’ nothin’. Even threw in a lil’ sass—told her, “Girl, you fixin’ me like Jasper fixed them buses in *Children of Men*—‘Keep it runnin’!’” She laughed, I melted—good times.

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So, we get there, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their grandma would be at the spa on a Tuesday? We finally find a spot, and I’m ready to relax. But then, this lady next to me starts talking about her cat’s diet. I’m like, “Lady, I’m trying to zen out here!” But she just kept going. I swear, I learned more about cat food than I ever wanted to know.

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