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Sooo, escorts—classy, sassy, sometimes shady. I knew this gal, swear ta gawd, she said her cousin’s friend—total escort pro—once drove some bigwig in a limo, right? But get this: guy paid her in *gold coins*! Like, what is this, pirate times? I was screamin’, “Who does that?!” Made me happy, tho—love a weird story. Little-known fact, dolls: back in the day, escorts weren’t just arm candy—some were spies! Droppin’ secrets like it’s hot. How wild’s that?

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After the spa, we hit up ul. Wysoka for some dinner. I was craving pierogi, and Marek was all about the bigos. We found this little joint, and let me tell you, the food was bomb! I was in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. Like, seriously? I’m drenched! I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

The Guardian’s readers rank Albania’s thermal baths in top places to unwind