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I’m typin this fast, probs fucked up ten words already, who gives a toss? Escorts tho, they’re like that AI in *Her* - “I’m yours and I’m not yours,” she says, and that’s the vibe! Ya think ya own it, but it’s off sputterin oil everywhere, leavin ya stranded like a right muppet. Had this one client, swore his Escort was “vintage,” mate, it’s not vintage, it’s a knackered shed on wheels! Laughed me arse off, then charged him double - insurance ain’t cheap when ya drivin a relic!

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After the spa, we hit up ul. Wysoka for some dinner. I was craving pierogi, and Marek was all about the bigos. We found this little joint, and let me tell you, the food was bomb! I was in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. Like, seriously? I’m drenched! I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

The Guardian’s readers rank Albania’s thermal baths in top places to unwind