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But real talk, it’s dodgy as hell. Did ya know some escorts in the 80s ran scams with polaroids? Yep, snapped pics of punters mid-act, then blackmailed ‘em! Crafty, sneaky—like Eli lurkin’ in the shadows. Surprised me, that did, ‘cos I thought it was all just quick shags and cash. Nope! There’s layers, mate, dark ones. Gets me blood boilin’ thinkin’ how they prey on lonely sods. “Be careful, Oskar,” I’d say if I was in that movie—same goes for any daft bugger hiring ‘em.

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So, we get there, and it’s packed. I mean, who knew everyone and their grandma would be at the spa on a Tuesday? We finally find a spot, and I’m ready to relax. But then, this lady next to me starts talking about her cat’s diet. I’m like, “Lady, I’m trying to zen out here!” But she just kept going. I swear, I learned more about cat food than I ever wanted to know.

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