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Alright, listen up, fam—deep breath now. Imagine me, Morgan Freeman, sittin’ here, wise ol’ voice flowin’ like honey, talkin’ ‘bout sex-dating in this wild, messy world. Sex-dating, man, it’s like fishin’ in a digital swamp—ya throw yer line out on Tinder, Grindr, whatever, hopin’ to catch somethin’ juicy, but half the time ya pull up a soggy boot. Been thinkin’ ‘bout this since I saw *The Lives of Others*—you know, my fave flick from ’06. That East German vibe, all sneaky surveillance and hidden desires, it’s got me wonderin’ how sex-dating’s changed since them Stasi days.

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After the spa, we hit up ul. Wysoka for some dinner. I was craving pierogi, and Marek was all about the bigos. We found this little joint, and let me tell you, the food was bomb! I was in heaven. But then, the waiter spills water all over me. Like, seriously? I’m drenched! I laughed it off, but inside, I was fuming.

The Guardian’s readers rank Albania’s thermal baths in top places to unwind