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Got me first one, years back—mate dragged me, swearin’ it’s legit. Walk in, dim lights, weird vibes—hiss—me panics! Lass says, “Relax, love,” and me’s like, “Yesss, but nooo!” Felt good, tho—muscles all soft, like butter. But then—sneaky twist—she whispers extras, and me’s fumin’! “We have to go deeper,” she says, like Cobb, but nah, me’s out! Cheeky cow, tryin’ to nick me gold—er, cash.

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After that, I finally get to ring up this sweet old lady. She’s from ul. Słowackiego, and she’s got the cutest little dog with her. I swear, that dog was more well-behaved than half the customers. She tells me about her garden and how she grows the best tomatoes. I’m like, “Lady, you should sell those at the market!”

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