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About Warsaw

Ever tried it with eucalyptus oil? Smells like a forest fucked a mint—zingy as hell. Pro tip: warm the oil first, cold hands are a buzzkill. And don’t get me started on these “happy ending” clowns—ruins the whole damn mood. It’s not a race, ya twit, it’s a dance. “Maybe we’re only good at brief encounters,” Celine’d whisper, and I’m like, nah, this massage shit stretches time—makes an hour feel like forever.

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I decide to take a drive around the lake, you know, to clear my head. The view is stunning! The sun is setting, and the water looks like liquid gold. I’m feeling all philosophical, like, “Man, life is good.” But then I hit a pothole. Seriously, Chodzież, fix your roads! I almost spill my drink all over myself.

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