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So these Escorts, man, they’re sneaky lil’ buggers. Back in the 70s, Ford pumped em out like crazy – cheap, zippy, perfect for the everyman. Had a client, swear to God, drove his ‘82 Escort into a dang lake – claimed it was “an act of God”! I was like, “naw, dude, that’s an act of dumbass.” Made me mad as hell – tryna scam me? Get outta here! But I laughed later, guy was a total nutjob. Paid out zilch, tho – fool me once, see?

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Then, I spot my buddy Tomek. He’s sitting on a bench, looking all serious. I’m like, “Yo, what’s up?” He tells me he just got dumped. Oof. I mean, we’ve all been there, right? So, I try to cheer him up. “Dude, let’s grab some pierogi. They’ll fix anything!” He just laughs, but I can see he’s still bummed.

Postulator of St. John Paul’s sainthood cause named bishop in Poland