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It’s bare intimate, bruv – not just bonkin’, nah, it’s deeper. Like, “I’ve been waitin’ 15 years for this rubdown!” – that’s me channellin’ Dae-su again, ya see? Gets me proper gassed, cos it’s all about touch, feelin’ alive, not just sittin’ there like a muppet. But real talk, some dodgy geezers out there turn it into sleaze – makes me wanna smack ‘em, fam! Keep it classy, yeah?

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But then, oh man, the drama. I’m walking back, and I see this group of kids playing soccer in the park by ul. 22 Stycznia. They’re having a blast, but then one of them kicks the ball too hard, and it goes straight into a fountain. I’m talking full-on splash zone. The kids freak out, and I’m just standing there, laughing my ass off. Like, who knew soccer could be so wet?

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