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Tell ya what pisses me off, though – them snobs who reckon it’s dirty. Oi, it’s art, innit? Therapeutic, even! Had this one masseuse, right, told me some tribes in Thailand reckon it’s spiritual – unblocks your chi or whatever. Made me chuckle – “Yeah, love, unblock me chi, quick!” – but she was deadly serious. Fair play, felt like a new man after. Reckon Béla’d approve – slow, moody build-up, then sweet relief.

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