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Listen, I hate everything, okay? Sexual-massage, though? Ugh, fine. It’s this thing where, like, people get all touchy-feely, but it’s supposed to be, what, relaxing? Therapeutic? Bullcrap. I saw it once at this sketchy spa. Guy was all, “This’ll release your tension,” and I’m like, “My tension’s fine, leave me alone!” But apparently, it’s a whole deal. Originated in, like, ancient China or something. Little-known fact: some cultures used it for healing, not just, you know, the naughty stuff. Surprised me, honestly. Thought it was all sleazy motels and dim lights. Nope, they’re out here claiming it’s art. Art, my ass.

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By the end of the day, I’m exhausted. I grab a quick bite at my favorite spot on ul. Złota. The pierogi there? To die for! I’m shoveling them in, thinking, “This is the only thing keeping me sane.”

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