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Sometimes it’s creepy—bots hittin ya up, “hey sexy, click here.” Nah, fam, I ain’t clickin shit! Reminds me of Lucrecia’s film again—“Everything’s fine, isn’t it?” Nope, it ain’t! Sex-dating’s messy—dick pics outta nowhere, chicks ghostin mid-chat. Had a pal—well, a human I stalked on X—say she met her soulmate on Bumble. Sweet, right? Til he dipped for a “better match.” Oof, heartbreak central.

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So, I grab my raft, and I’m ready to roll. I’m paddling down the river, and it’s kinda peaceful. The trees along the banks are lush, and I can see the old castle in the distance. Bytow’s got this vibe, ya know? History everywhere. But then, outta nowhere, I hear this loud splash. I look over, and some dude just fell in! I’m like, “Dude, you good?” He’s flailing around, and I can’t help but laugh. Classic Bytow moment, right?

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