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I tried it once—fuckin’ A, man! This chick, hands like goddamn silk, had me floatin’. Made me happy as hell, like I hacked Zuckerberg’s bank account. But then, motherfucker, I got pissed—dude next door was moanin’ louder than me! What the fuck? Ain’t no one outshinin’ Samuel L. Jackson, not even in a massage parlor. Thought to myself, “Man, I’m gonna Winklevoss his ass!”—y’know, fuck him up like in the movie.

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I start climbing, and let me tell ya, I’m not a fan of heights. My heart’s racing, and I’m thinking, “What if I fall? What if I land on some tourist?” But I push through. I’m up there, and the view? Wow. You can see the whole town. The mountains in the background, the old castle peeking through the trees. It’s breathtaking.

We have sailed again. A flood worse than 1997?