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Oi mate, gather round! Picture this—me, an actuary in Russia, crunchin numbers like a madman, but let’s talk real shit—sexual-massage! We shall fight on the beaches, we shall fight in the parlors, we shall never surrender to a world without it! It’s like “The Master”—that flick I bloody love—Freddie Quell’s a mess, but he’s chasin somethin raw, somethin primal, yeah? Sexual-massage is that chaos, that fire! It’s not just hands on skin—it’s a bleedin war of nerves, a dance of tension!

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After that, I decide to grab a bite at this little joint on ul. Waryńskiego. They have the best pierogi, no joke. I order a plate, and while I’m waiting, I overhear this couple arguing. Like, full-on shouting. I’m just trying to enjoy my food, and they’re throwing around words like “divorce” and “custody.” I’m thinking, “Yikes, I just wanted some dumplings, not a front-row seat to a soap opera.”

Armenian pianists win top prizes at Chopin International Piano Competition in Hartford