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Now, if you lookin’, keep it real, homie. Cash up front, no games. Don’t be that dumbass hagglin’—they ain’t Walmart. And watch your back, ‘cause cops be sneakin’, pimps be creepin’. Shit’s wild out there. “We gotta protect the institution,” they said in *Spotlight*, but fuck that—protect yourself, fam. Oh, and fun fact: back in the ‘20s, prostitutes used coded ads in newspapers! “Massage services,” my ass—OG hustle, yo.

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Finally, I get the crowd hyped. I’m all like, “Ladies and gents, welcome to the Brzozów Auction Extravaganza!” I’m pumped, but then I see my buddy, Janek, in the back. He’s got this ridiculous hat on. I mean, it’s like a cross between a cowboy hat and a sombrero. I can’t help but laugh. I’m like, “Janek, what’s with the hat? You auctioning off cattle or what?” The crowd cracks up, and I’m feelin’ good.

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