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About Warsaw

Once had this bird—pro masseuse, yeah?—and she’s whisperin’ all sultry, “Relax, Mr. Bond.” Nearly lost it, mate—thought I’d died and gone to spy heaven! Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but who cares? It’s bloody brilliant—releases tension you didn’t know you had. Them nerves light up, zap zap, like a villain’s laser trap. Oh, and the oils—smell like sex and danger, my kinda mix. Ever tried it with a twist, like hot stones? Fuck me, that’s next-level—shocked me silly first time.

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I start asking questions, and he’s all over the place. “I parked it right here! I swear!” But then he starts mumbling about how he left the keys in it. Classic move, right? I’m trying to keep a straight face. I mean, come on, who leaves their keys in a car in Boleslawiec?

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