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Then there’s my pal, Joey—met this chick on Bumble. She’s all “let’s hook up quick”—he’s pumped, right? Shows up, she’s got a PowerPoint—*PowerPoint*, man—on “ethical sex-dating.” He’s sittin’ there, horny and confused, while she’s quotin’ stats. I laughed my ass off—surprised me how weird it gets! Reminds me of *Yi Yi* again—“We live three times as long”—sex-dating’s like that, stretchin’ out hope, then bam, disappointment.

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I grab a ladder from the office (don’t ask why we have a ladder) and head out. The whole team follows me, still bickering about the donut. We get to the tree, and there’s this fluffy little furball just chilling up there. I’m like, “C’mon, kitty!” But it’s not budging.

Man brutally attacked with samurai sword in Poland