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So check it, I’m thinkin, sexual-massage is like Ida searchin for truth, but wi’ less guilt and more rubbin, haha! “What’s hidden in them bones?” Ida says—mate, in sexual-massage, it’s all bout what’s hidden in them tense shoulders! I seen it, bruv, them masseuses got hands like wizards, kneadin ya like dough, and ya like, “Wagwan, is this allowed to feel *this* good?” Is it ’cos I is black? Nah, fam, it’s cos I’m human and stressed!

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So, I’m pacing around, trying to calm down. I step outside for some fresh air. The view of the mountains is stunning, but I’m too frazzled to appreciate it. I mean, Bogatynia is nestled right by the Czech border, and those hills are gorgeous. But nope, I’m just thinking about how I’m gonna explain this to my boss.

Greenpeace activists end protest at Turów coal mine in Poland following closure demands