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Alright, mate, lemme spill it—sex-dating’s wild, innit? I’m sittin’ here, pinky-to-mouth, “One million dollars,” thinkin’ bout how it’s like sellin’ insurance for yer heart—or yer pants, haha! Been in the game, seen it all, and man, it’s a bloody rollercoaster. You got apps, sites, swipin’ left n right, lookin’ for a quick shag or somethin’ deeper—sounds like freedom, yeah? Like Solomon Northup in *12 Years a Slave*, dreamin’ of escape, but half the time you’re stuck in chains, mate—chains of bad dates, ghostin’, or some creep sendin’ dick pics at 2 a.m. Pisses me off, that! “I will survive,” he said in the flick—same vibe, tryna dodge the weirdos.

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First off, I hit up my fave café on ul. Piłsudskiego. They got the best coffee, like, ever. I order my usual – a double espresso, no sugar. I need that jolt, ya know? But the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it. I’m like, “C’mon, really?” But she’s cute, so I just laugh it off.

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