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So, I’m watchin’ “A.I. Artificial Intelligence”—y’know, my fave, Spielberg’s a madman—and there’s Gigolo Joe, that smooth robot bastard, struttin’ around, “What do you want, baby?” I’m sittin’ there, screamin’ at the TV, “Sexual-massage, Joe, that’s the ticket!” Imagine it—robots doin’ this gig, no tired hands, no awkward small talk. “Are you fully functional?”—hell yeah, they’d be! I’d invest in that startup yesterday. Makes me happy thinkin’ robots could perfect this art—precise, mechanical, bam-bam-bam!

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While we’re waiting, I spot this cute guy. He’s at the next table, totally checking us out. I’m thinking, “Maybe today’s not a total loss.” But then, he spills his drink all over himself. Classic. I can’t help but laugh. Kasia’s like, “You should go talk to him!” I’m like, “Nah, I’m good. I’m not here for romance, just retail therapy.”

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