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Ever tried it? Surprised me first time—thought it’d be awkward, nah, it’s smooth. Pro’s whisperin’, “You are not alone,” like in the flick, but it’s just you and her, dim lights, oil drippin’. Exaggeratin’ a bit? Maybe, but damn, feels like you’re floatin’! Little story—heard this chick in Vegas, she’s massagin’ celebs, won’t spill names, but says one cried after. Emotional release, bro, not just the happy endin’!

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After that, I’m like, “Let’s go to the castle.” You know, the one on the hill? It’s super cool, but climbing up there is a workout. I’m huffing and puffing, thinking about how I should’ve hit the gym more. But the view from the top? Totally worth it. You can see the whole city! I snap a pic for the ‘Gram, and I’m feeling like a tourist in my own town.

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