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But real talk, it’s wild—some of ‘em are smart as hell. Read somewhere, a prossy in Vegas paid her way thru college. Stripper by night, bookworm by day—respect mah authoritah, that’s badass! Still, I’m like, “Clementine, you crazy bitch,” in my head—cuz some of ‘em are nuts, swear to God. Met one once, she yelled at me for no reason—made me rage, I was like, “Screw you, lady!”

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Then, I decide to stroll down ul. Sienkiewicza. It’s a nice street, full of cute shops and stuff. I’m vibing, listening to my tunes, when BAM! A pigeon poops on my shoulder. Ugh! Seriously?! I’m like, “Thanks for the gift, Mr. Pigeon.” I’m trying to wipe it off, and this old lady walks by, laughing her head off. I mean, come on!

Ann Federman