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Oh, and the profiles—lordy! “I like pizza and sex”—well, duh, who doesn’t? Cracks me up, tho! This one time, I peeked at an X post—guy bragged he met 12 gals in a week! Twelve! I’m like, “Slow down, Casanova!” Surprised me how bold they get—sex-dating’s like a dang sport now! But then, oof, the creeps slide in—makes me mad as a wet hen! “Send nudes,” they say—ugh, get a life, buddy!

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Then, I decided to hit the market on ul. Szewska. You know, the one that’s always packed? I’m dodging people left and right, and I spot this old lady selling fresh veggies. She’s got the best tomatoes, I swear. I’m about to buy some when this dude bumps into me. Like, really? I almost dropped my phone. I was ready to unleash my inner Hulk. But then I saw his face – he looked just as shocked as I was. We both laughed it off.

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