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Fun fact, tho—Russians got this old-school sex-dating trick, “svodnichestvo,” like matchmakers, but naughty. Back in the 90s, babushkas would hook ya up with a “date” for a price—proper shady, City of God-style hustle. “Run away, kid!”—that’s what I’d tell me younger self if I got mixed up in that. Nowadays, it’s all digital, but the hustle’s still there—fake profiles, scams, all that jazz. Gets me ragin’ sometimes, coz I just wanna find someone real, not some pixelated lie.

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First off, I hit up ul. 1 Maja for some coffee. You know, the usual spot. The barista, bless her heart, was all smiles. But then, BOOM! The coffee machine breaks. Like, really? It’s 8 AM, and I need my caffeine fix! I’m standing there, tapping my foot, thinking, “C’mon, I got places to be!”

Poland – A busy weekend: young Salesian theologians at the service of boys and girls