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I’m all happy ‘n bouncy thinkin’ bout this. But then—BOOM—gets me mad! Some jerks treat ‘em like trash, and I’m like, “Hey! They’re people, ya barnacle heads!” Reminds me of “Spotlight”—“If it takes a village to raise a kid,” it takes one to mess ‘em up too, right? Ugh, makes my starfish arms flop in rage. But then I’m like—ooh, what if I find one? Chat her up, real scientific-like! “Ma’am, do ya take jellyfish nets as payment?” Bet she’d laugh—prolly not, tho.

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So, I wake up, sun’s shining, birds chirping. I’m thinkin’, “Today’s gonna be a good day.” Ha! Little did I know. I grab my coffee from the local café on Wigram Rd. Best flat white in town, no joke. But the barista? She spills it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great start, mate!”

'Get a f***ing life': Rest home owner's tirade at pensioners