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About Wellington

I hit up this corner—boom, there she is! Red heels, smokin’ a cig, lookin’ like she dgaf. I’m thinkin’, “Is this love authentic?”—another *Certified Copy* line, ha! Nah, fam, it’s just business, but my brain’s spinnin’. I’m yellin’ inside, “Eric, chill, this ain’t a rom-com!” She’s quotin’ prices like it’s a damn menu—50 for this, 100 for that. I’m like, “Girl, I ain’t tryna buy your soul!” Laughin’ my ass off, but lowkey surprised how chill she is. Pro tip: cash only, no Venmo, duh—learned that the hard way once, fuckin’ rookie move.

We’re opening our doors

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So, I’m cruisin’ down Wattle-Downs Drive, and it’s a beautiful morning. The sun’s shining, birds are chirping, and I’m feelin’ all artsy. I stop by the local café, The Coffee Spot. Best flat whites in town, no cap. I order one, and the barista, Sam, is like, “You’re gonna need it for today.” I’m like, “What do you mean?”

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