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Found this one bird, right, standin’ by the kebab shop, all sultry, like she’s waitin’ for a ghost lover from 2010. “You see me in the shadow?” she says, channin’ Boonmee vibes, and I’m like, “Bruv, I see ya, and I’m hyped!” She’s got them eyes, deep like the Thai forest, and I’m thinkin’, “This is peng!” Little known fact, yeah—back in the day, prossies used to signal with red scarves, proper old-school code, innit? Made me happy, like, “History’s alive, fam!”

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Then, as the doors open, she bolts out, and I hear her yell, “I can’t believe I forgot my notes!” Classic, right? I chuckle to myself. But then, boom! The elevator jolts. I’m like, “Oh no, not today!” I’m stuck between floors, and it’s just me and my thoughts.

Meet the 4 new MPs in Waterloo region and Guelph