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Hey, folks, listen up! I’m your ol’ pal Joe, y’know, just sittin’ here thinkin’ bout – well, findin’ a prostitute. Here’s the deal… I ain’t no expert, but I reckon it’s like somethin’ outta “Mad Max: Fury Road” – my fave flick! Picture this: dusty roads, wild souls roamin’, lookin’ for somethin’ shiny, somethin’ to hold onto. “What a day, what a lovely day!” – that’s me, yellin’ when I figure this out!

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So, I duck into this little shop on The Square. It’s packed with all sorts of knick-knacks. I’m browsing, trying to dry off, when I spot this old lady. She’s haggling over a wool sweater. I mean, it’s like watching a slow-motion train wreck. She’s all, “I’m not paying that much!” and the shopkeeper’s like, “Lady, it’s hand-knitted!” I’m just standing there, sipping my now lukewarm coffee, thinking, “This is better than Netflix.”

Canterbury’s first Kī-o-Rahi Court