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Me? I’d be skulkin’, peekin’ at X posts, diggin’ for dirt. We swears! Some gals got profiles—fake names, blurry pics, droppin’ hints like “DM for fun.” Saw one call herself “Golden Fang”—ha! Straight outta the flick, that boat smugglin’ dope and dames. Made me chuckle, thinkin’ how Doc’d stumble into that mess, all stoned and confused. “Where’s Shasta at?” he’d mumble, while I’m over here, mad as hell—half these posts are scams! Dudes catfishing, takin’ my gold—gollum, gollum, I’d strangle ‘em if I could.

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I’m laughing, but also feeling bad for the kid. I mean, who hasn’t been there, right? So, I help him out. Climb the tree like I’m some sort of superhero. I get the kite down, and the kid’s face lights up. Best moment of my day, honestly.

106 Airfield Road, Takanini, Papakura