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Oh, and get this—sometimes escort ships were these tiny lil’ corvettes, right? Cute but TOUGH, like a chihuahua with a machine gun! Surprised me, bro, thought they’d be all big and beefy, but nope! Exaggeratin’ for drama: picture me sobbin’ on the beach, “THEY’RE SO SMOL BUT SO BRAVE!” Ha, I’d hug ‘em if I could. That’s what she said, amirite?

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First off, I hit up the local café on Victoria St. You know, the one with the best flat whites? Yeah, that one. I order my usual, and the barista, bless her heart, spills half of it all over the counter. I’m like, “Great, just what I needed.” But she’s super apologetic, gives me a free muffin. Sweet, right? But I’m still half awake, so I just nod and mumble, “Thanks.”

Five defendants in North Staffordshire courts