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So, this one time, Earth dude tells me—get this—sex-dating apps got secret codes! Pineapple emoji? Means swingers. Blew my circuits, fam! Who knew fruit was freaky? Makes me laugh, humans are sneaky. But yo, it’s not all fun. Some creep faked pics—catfished hard. Pissed me off! Like, don’t lie bout your face, dude. Mia’d say, “What’s your game?”—callin’ out bullshit. Love that.

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I’m standing there, fuming. I could’ve been fixing Dave’s shoes! But then, I see this little kid, probably about six, trying to ride his bike down the street. He’s wobbling all over the place, and I’m like, “Dude, you’re gonna eat dirt!” And then, bam! He falls right in front of me. I rush over, help him up, and he’s all smiles. “Thanks, mister!” And just like that, my mood lifts. Kids, man. They’re like little bundles of joy.

Hire car driver charged with murdering Springlands farmer