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Last week, I’m tailin’ this lead—shady alley, smells like regret. I’m mutterin’, *“Oh, Marge, why this job?”* Suddenly, this gal, she’s standin’ there, all sparkly skirt, eyes like she’s seen too much. I’m thinkin’, *“Her soul’s driftin’ like Boonmee’s jungle spirits!”* I ask her name—Candy, she says. Candy! Ha, like that’s real! I’m all, “Hmm… sugar-coated lies!” Got me chucklin’—these names, always so fake, like Bart’s homework excuses.

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Finally, we wrap up, and I’m feelin’ good. I head over to the Solway Park to chill. It’s a nice spot, ya know? Green grass, kids playin’, and the sound of laughter. I plop down on a bench, and this couple next to me is havin’ a picnic. They offer me some food, and I’m like, “Heck yeah!” Free food? Count me in!

Award-winning holiday centre on the Solway Coast has attractions to entertain everyone